


Where Do We Go From Here? (I Haven't Made it Up Yet)

by sonatass



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M, Marijuana, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Tree Bros, evannor, medication mention, pill mention, slowburn, this isn't entirely planned out so expect the tags to change with every update, we don't like the ship name tree bros so we're gonna call it evannor, we're flying blind and we're making this up as we go, yes this is being written by two people btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 12:40:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11486586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonatass/pseuds/sonatass
Summary: Evan goes to college. Shenanigans ensue.





	Where Do We Go From Here? (I Haven't Made it Up Yet)

**Author's Note:**

> -this is the first fic we've ever posted to ao3 so please excuse us  
> -other than that enjoy!!

The floor seemed to shift underneath Evan’s feet as he stumbled through the winding hallway that led to his college dorm room. It was his first day at Harrisburg Area Community College and he was beyond nervous. Well, he was nervous about basically everything, but _especially_ college. It was a community college, all his mom was able to afford since even with all of the scholarship essays he’d written his senior year, he hadn’t managed to get one.

Right now, though, the young adult was moving into his dorm, and amidst all of his anxious thoughts his mind was currently fixated on one particular thing: who his roommate might be. Whoever it was, Evan had hoped that they would be able to deal with him一his late night panic attacks, how he clicked his pen almost obsessively when doing homework, his existence in general一he grimaced inwardly just at the thought of having to share a dorm with himself.

In terms of belongings he hadn’t brought too much with him. A mini fridge, a laundry bin filled with as many clothing items as possible, toiletries, basic necessities, a comforter, and, of course, his laptop among other things. His mom had to work so he’d basically been dropped off with all of his stuff, an upperclassman helping him get it up to the floor where his room was. He was grateful that the older students helped the freshmen or else he would've never gotten everything upstairs, but at the same time it was brutally awkward and they’d barely spoken.

Nevertheless, as Evan dragged his personal effects down the hallway to the outside of his door, he was struck with realization. Being so preoccupied with other thoughts, it had not once crossed his mind that perhaps _he_ might have a roommate who would cause _him_ trouble. He was so worried about his roomie's opinion of him that the thought had just about completely slipped his mind.

But sure enough, the possibility was abundantly clear as he opened the door to his dorm room and was immediately hit with the overwhelming stench of weed. The student who had helped him before walked in with the rest of Evan’s things and left them on the ground, seemingly unphased by the situation. Evan thanked him quietly and he received a silent thumbs-up in return.

Who he guessed was his new roommate was sitting on a desk chair in the middle of the dorm. Evan noticed that though it had wheels it was stationary, its occupant’s legs propped up on the bed that was up against the right wall of the room. The man was smoking a joint, and hearing the door close he glanced over from the wall to Evan with a glossed-over look in his eyes. Instead of giving a verbal greeting, he offered a quick head-nod.

Well, shit. Immediately, Evan got flustered and he looked to the floor. “Oh, um…” Evan squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, gesticulating the way he always did when he was trying to think of something. “Uh, yeah, are you…?” The boy could swear he read his name somewhere, but the smell of the room, mixed with his anxiety, was definitely working against his thought processes.

“Connor Murphy.” He replied simply. There was just something about his demeanor that made Evan feel as if he was being roasted under a magnifying glass. Without a word, though, Connor went over to the window on the wall behind him and opened it, letting in fresh air before reclaiming his previous seat. Evan sent out a quick mental prayer and his mind, more clear, let him take in his surroundings enough so he could look around the room.

The dorm was small but livable. There was a twin bed on either side of the room, only separated by a few feet of space. His roommate seemed to have already claimed the bed on the left and unpacked, though it seemed as though he didn’t have a lot of stuff. A desk next to his bed with drawers and a brown messenger bag on top of it, the still-occupied chair, some clothes presumably, and a notebook? Or maybe a sketchbook. Or a diary. Evan didn’t want to ask.

His observational time was cut short, however, when Connor said, “You alright? You look like you just saw a fucking ghost, or something.”

Evan quickly remembered how easily his features expressed emotion and felt his face get hot一 _wow_ , it hadn’t even been five minutes yet and he _already_ looked like a weirdo一and offered a small smile. He probably looked like a nervous wreck. Connor chuckled.

“What, did you hear rumors about me?” A knowing bitterness (or maybe sadness?) melted onto the other’s expression, though he was still half-smiling. “Don’t worry.” And like that, the emotion was gone, replaced with a deadpan facade. “Mind your own business and I’ll stay in mine.”

The dirty blond struggled to speak but he couldn’t find anything to say. How was he supposed to respond to that?

He settled on a simple “O-Okay,” and there was a significant lull in the conversation until Connor stared at him, seemingly annoyed. Or just expectant. Evan’s mind couldn’t tell the difference sometimes.

And then he heard a sigh.

“Hello,” Sarcasm, perfect. “I’m Connor Murphy. And you are?”

Evan blinked. And then it clicked.

“Oh, uh, I’m, uh… I’m Evan. Hansen.” He held out his arm stiffly to shake the other boy’s hand. After all, that’s what you were  _supposed_ to do when you meet someone, right? Connor gave him an odd glance before taking his hand in his own. Unlike Evan’s sweaty hand it was… soft? Oh god, was that weird to think? He’d just met the guy and now he’s thinking about how soft his hands are and now _his_ hands were getting _more_ sweaty and一

“Sorry, sorry,” Evan pulled his hand away sharply and wiped it on his khakis. The gaze Connor was giving him got increasingly more confused, and he quirked an eyebrow. “Why the fuck are you apologizing?”

The words were laced with genuine confusion but the curtness of them threw Evan for a loop. Before he was able to piece together an explanation (or an excuse), Connor added, “You know, you don’t have to. Apologize, I mean. I don’t really give a shit.” He shrugged, taking a drag of the joint he was holding between his polished fingers. “Just don’t be an asshole.”

He attempted to not overthink what Connor had said, a more than difficult task for him. What kind of person did he take him for, anyway? He’d guessed he couldn’t really blame the other for that, though, him being high and all. High… Shit. He was _high_. Evan was so distracted by everything else that he'd almost forgotten to mention the elephant in the room. “Where did you 一 where did you get weed? Are you even allowed to be smoking it in here? I… I’m sorry I don’t mean to be annoying but I'm just _reallynotcomfortablewiththat_ ,”

Connor glanced up at him, leaning back further in the chair. “Chill the fuck out, man.”

Evan stared intently at the ground, the flow of his ramble (minus the interruption) not losing its strength. “Yeah but I mean, what would happen if you got caught? Marijuana, drugs, they’re… they’re _illegal_ in Pennsylvania, and I _know_ you’re smoking and that it’s, it’s illegal so what if they put _me_ in jail for knowing that you’re smoking and knowing that it’s not legal, and, God _I_ smell like weed, too一”

“Hansen.”

Evan stopped himself, bringing his eyes up from staring at the wooden floor to meet the other’s eyes. “Wh...Yes?” It took all of his willpower to not break down.

Connor slowly moved to stand up, and it was only then that Evan realized how tall he actually was. The way he moved looked as though his limbs were made of stone as he haphazardly pinched out what he was smoking. “I’m not gonna get caught, I’ve been at this sort of thing for too long, now.” Almost as if to prove his point he went over to the desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a bottle of air freshener, gesturing for Evan to take it. Reluctantly, cautiously, he did. The brunette smiled in a satisfactory manner and he made a small nodding motion with his head.

“Even if I did get caught, though, most people don’t give a shit.” His tone was so apathetic. Evan didn’t know how someone could talk about basically being a criminal in front of a stranger so nonchalantly.

Suddenly, he felt Connor clap his hand onto his shoulder from behind and lean down close to his face. “Unless, of course...” the lack of personal space, as well as the smell of marijuana in the other’s breath, caused Evan’s face to grow warm once again. “Someone like _you_ should happen to report me.”

Evan felt as though he was about to explode. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. Was he being threatened? His mind once again didn’t fail to fill his head with worrying thoughts on what the other may have meant. He turned around, freeing himself from Connor’s grip and waved his hands frantically. “I-I would never report you!” he managed to choke out.

The taller man smiled and pulled away. “Good.” He rolled his chair over to its rightful place, and instead of sitting it in it he leaned against the desk, casually swinging one of his legs over the other. “While we’re on the topic actually, why don’t we set some ground rules?”

Evan nodded and sat down on what would be his bed. “Okay.” he said quietly, habitually picking at the skin around his fingernails.

“First of all,” he weakly waved a finger, “Don’t worry about me.”

How was he supposed to do that? He worried about everything. Connor continued.

“Second, whatever the fuck I do is none of your business, so don’t ask me questions. Third, don’t complain. I know drugs are bad, I stay up late, I leave randomly and it’s better if you just get use to it. ”

The blond stared at him blankly. Those weren’t exactly the rules he expected, but then again, he didn’t really know _what_ to expect from this guy. He nodded, shifting his gaze from his fingers to his now-swinging feet.

“Dude, do you even know how to fucking speak?” Though the words were harsh, Connor’s tone was again genuine, and Evan was conflicted. He figured that’s just how he communicated. But so much had been thrown at him all at once, and he was still trying to process it all. Why couldn’t he respect that?

“Yeah,” He gulped and took a deep breath, feeling himself starting to get defensive. “Yeah, uh, actually, I do. And on the topic of rules, I would like to set, um, some of my own.” Evan’s matter-of-fact tone earned him an incredulous look, but he couldn’t seem to care. “I really… I really don’t want you smoking in our room, and um, I, I click my pen sometimes, and I get nervous around strangers,” Connor’s unreadable expression, and mostly because of the fact that he’d let him talk this much, made Evan’s tone soften.

“Oh, and also, the shampoo I brought is mine, so…” The shorter male shrugged, letting his hands fall to his sides with an audible slap and refusing still to make eye contact.

Connor stared for a moment, snorted, and then proceeded to roll his eyes. “I won’t smoke when you’re in the room but it’s unrealistic for me _never_ to smoke in here.” A quick moment of silence, and then Connor’s voice lost its trademark snarkiness. “I’ll open the window, or something. But I think I can live with everything else.”

Evan nodded and stood up again. He was relieved that it was less of a fight than he had expected, and felt as though this was an appropriate time to start getting settled in. Moving over to where his things sat by the door, he went about unpacking. Without much thought he pulled out the familiar bottle of pills in his suitcase, and upon seeing it, Connor’s interest was peaked. He moved from his spot to swiftly take it from Evan’s hand and began examining it.

“Oh shit...” he started quietly, turning it over in his hands and reading the print. Evan was mortified and tried to grab it back, placing the air freshener he was given earlier on the surface of the desk so that both of his hands were free. His attempt was sorely defeated by the taller man turning away and holding it up above where he could reach.

“Could uh,” Connor spoke after a minute, his tone almost painfully awkward. Evan could tell he was trying to seem indifferent. “Could these get me high?”

Evan shot him a puzzled glance. “Aren’t一aren’t you already high, though?”

Immediately he winced at his own unpremeditated question but Connor just looked back at him, his expression unwavering. Somehow, Evan thought, that was more intimidating than if he had simply patronized him for asking something so obvious. Hurriedly, he decided to ignore he’d ever said that and replied to the previous question.

“I-I don’t know if they can but um I… I really need those so could you please give thembackplease?” Evan was aware of how he was pretty much begging, but he _really_ did not want to explain how he needed anxiety medication. As if Connor didn’t already think he was a freak enough.

Dubiously, Connor eyed Evan before reluctantly handing back the pill bottle and watching as he rapidly shoved it back into his suitcase. Yet another pregnant and wholly awkward pause ensued before the brunette grabbed his messenger bag from the desk, slinging it over his shoulder and heading to the door. He turned to half-face Evan, avoiding his eyes as he slowly pulled the door open. It was frightening how easily he was able to cut off his emotions, Evan noticed, but a small part of him wished he could do the same.

“I’m going to go get rid of this,” He said, holding up his used joint. Evan wasn’t sure why he felt the need to tell him, but he was sort of thankful for it anyway. He nodded, realized that Connor couldn’t have possibly seen him nod since he wasn’t looking at him, and replied with a simple “O-Oh, sure.”

Connor gave a small nod of his own and looked ahead of him, but he didn’t move.

“I probably won’t be back for a while, too, so…” He clutched the strap of his bag一and was he anxious? The shorter boy couldn’t tell.

Curiosity almost got the best of Evan, almost, until _‘Whatever the fuck I do is none of your business, so don’t ask me questions,’_ rang back in his mind. Right. He didn’t want to seem annoying or like he wasn’t listening by breaking one of Connor’s rules, especially this soon.

After a moment’s thought he settled on, “Um, a-alright.” And teetered nervously on his feet.

The other male gave yet another nod, this one more firm as if he was confirming something. Without another word he stepped out of the room, his pace rather fast. He also didn’t bother closing the door. Instead, he left Evan to take that liberty upon himself.

Evan sighed, grabbed the air freshener from off the desk and sprayed the room, unsure of how much it was actually able to mask the smell. After doing so he sat back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. He brought his hands up to cover his face exasperatedly, dreading his current situation.

_Fuck_. If things continued at this rate, college might somehow manage to be harder than Evan had already thought. If that was even possible.

**Author's Note:**

> -aka we overuse italics  
> -thank you for reading this first crappy little chapter!  
> -(edit) we abandoned this lmao  
> -every comment/kudos/etc. is appreciated!


End file.
